I just wanted Picard with an ill-fitting Toupee. Why it became an animal is beyond my understanding.
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The Trouble with Tribbles
This is significantly better than what you requested! Tribble-pé.
That’s a lot of pips!
As a bald man I get it. I shave my head and when my cat was a kitten she would rub her belly up and down my head and it was fantastic. Highly recommended.