Good point, that actually does make sense. If it takes one to know one, the people who know what oppression looks and feels like are absolutely the ones who know most what a place under an oppressive regime with good PR is from the outside. Not sure if it’s a complex set of skills or if it’s just a matter of comparing dictators to dictators and not to oranges, but stress testing and security testing bounties are things for a good reason.

Sorry about the above posts feeling accusatory, I’m having a terrible time and I’ve had a comfortable but miserable life of never succeeding at anything yet wanting to at the very least succeed in bringing other people happiness by helping to create or protect a near-utopian (since outright perfection is impossible and plausibly a boring existence if it was possible) world. When you’re protected from your failures most of the time but you never actually succeed you start to feel like you are worthless, and if you realize that’s not the case after too long, then someone starts to feel like the whole world is in some manner against them.

Problem is, I’m smart enough to know the logical conclusion is NOT that the people around me are all against me, and it’s taken long enough that I know the problem isn’t me either (long story). If it’s not me, and the world isn’t conspiring, then the real reason must simply be some sort of discrimination against me. As for what, I honestly can’t figure it out beyond “nobody anywhere online believes the truth about what they think I did even though it really is the truth”. I refuse to believe it was simply bad luck, though. Discrimination is not a conspiracy, and if you have psychiatrist A drugging you wrong but you get a new psychiatrist Band you have no issues, it is not a crazy thing to say “my last psychiatrist ruined my life”.

Crazy is - aside from being repetitively delusional - when no answer is ever good enough. I know because the only time in my life where I’ve felt paranoia was under my old psychiatrist’s medications, when every answer didn’t calm me, but stress me out with overthinking everything (and I don’t mean like this post, I mean like literally everything was too questionable to trust at that time, especially social media). I don’t know how people who - unlike my Autism diagnosis - have psychosis for real can stand NOT taking their pills as “feeling more lucid”. I have never felt my mind be more clouded than it was when that old doctor’s prescriptions caused chemically-induced paranoia, and mixed with a literally negative value of myself caused by it and two coincidential moments in my social life where I was unfairly pushed out of a group through no fault of my own, it nearly destroyed my mind and DID destroy my online reputation as a result.

I literally have a doctor’s note in my email and I haven’t shown it to the OpenTTD communit that I am a f-ing pariah of because I don’t know if even that will convince them that “my” behavior from March of 2017 until very recently was the work of this man… https://www.ratemds.com/doctor-ratings/531703/Dr-Richard-McGee-Castlegar-BC.html/ (also https://perma.cc/QE8Y-33US so it doesn’t redlink) …and that website speaks all that I would need said to confirm that that guy ruined my life and I shouldn’t have to and can’t be the one to rebuild it; I’m not this monster’s only victim. I already posted that link to them, they didn’t seem to care and believe I made it up.

I don’t have anything against any group at this point, because I know discrimination should, at the minimum, mean the discriminator silently leaves instead of being arrogant and cruel or you get all the people I feel like I’ve personally been wronged by, and now you know why I apparently have some of the highest empathy, best reasoning and (sadly) shortest tempers of anyone I’ve ever met. Thus, I’m mostly just angry that humanity seems to be falling apart everywhere at the same time and when someone points out that doing X is making that worse, X is either a completely innocent thing that the accuser is trying to destroy for personal gain, or the person doing X is trying to employ X and make it look like they are “allowed to” because they are part of Group Y (either Group Y is rich or Group Y is a corrupt culture warrior who justifies their actions as social justice or religious freedom). The rules are supposed to be equal, I suppose that does mean that if you want to prevent a hacker from breaking your system, some security-testing by a hacker who knows what to look for is exactly what is needed.

…this may sound crazy, but… anyone think uploading the world’s flaws to a Git repository of some sort as “bugs” would go a long way?